Why I Quit Using Facebook (Again).

This is 4 months into my second stab at quitting this irrational site.  I had previously stopped using Facebook in March and made it to June.  I failed miserably at kicking my addiction then.  I don’t want to blame my boyfriend, but I’m going blame him (partly).  I’ll be the first to admit I was hooked on the narcissistic drip.  Like a cheap junkie, I started to chomp at the bit when  Mike updated me on all the online activity.  I found myself missing the interaction with all the wonderful people he told me about.  Obviously, I eventually jumped right back into the swing of things.

Sometimes you just can’t quit a dirty habit the first time!

I also justified to myself that Redterrain still needed a social media presence.  People wouldn’t know what was happening on the blog, or website.  How would anyone contact me?

I had read back in August that many business’s that post content on their page in Facebook, often loose followers.  People “unlike” a brand if they find it is showing up in their feed too often.  It’s interesting that too much exposure from a brand would literally turn people off, surely we have the same effect on one another as individuals using the site, no?

This information prompted me to rid myself of the site, for good.  I felt the need to rid myself of the subjection to endless gloating, baby pimping (ladies and gents please stop this madness), the breakups, farmville, and that goddamn baking game, recycled news, pinterest, and let’s not forget the FEES (it’s free and always will be is clearly bologna).  It was pointless.  All of this sifting through overwhelming loads of crap, was completely pointless.

Living in remote Australia has it’s disadvantages when it comes to your social life.  I spend a lot of time alone.  And although I was not physically with my friends, I felt close knowing I could look at their lives through Facebook.  That’s pretty sad, if you ask me now.

In quitting Facebook, I’ve discovered something truly humbling…

Many people feel the same way!  

My interactions with my friends and family feel much more intimate, and personal not to mention frequent.  I actively hunted down the people I wanted to remain close with.  I sent them an email to make sure they didn’t think I dropped off the face of the earth.  I think of emails as letters.  My heart glows when I receive word from my friends.  I love my friends, and I miss them dearly.  This has bridged the gap between us (even though it is massive and is literally the size of the Pacific Ocean).  Emails and Skype have kept us close, while I can truly say that FB did not.  Many people who find out I’ve stopped using the site (including Mike) all say they wished they could do the same.  You can!

Instead of scrolling around aimlessly, or looking for attention (that’s all it really is), I’ve been more devoted to activities that allow me to connect with life.  I’ve been playing basketball, running, gardening, shooting more photography, reading (and lots of it), writing, spending more time with Mike.  I’ve not lost anything, in fact I think I’ve gained a lot more than Facebook ever gave me.

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Secretly everyone hates Facebook.

If you’re sitting there agreeing with me, and have been thinking of deleting it for ages…What are you waiting for?

I say: DO IT. 

13 thoughts on “Why I Quit Using Facebook (Again).

  1. Facebook is really powerful in destroying relationships and personalities. We human beings are private in many ways and we forget our being so when we get enchanted by the various and colorful possibilities facebook offers us. Of course, many like you, would realize that and move on sooner or later but the vast majority would be using it until something really more popular than facebook shows up!

    After deactivating my facebook i went to google+ and had to close it too since i realized an urge in myself to show off and post something; to say something that many people don’t care in reality- in facebook like in everyday life people don’t care too much about you; everyone is provoked by their self-interest! Unlike everyday life in facebook other people’s self-interest and selfishness is in front of us staring into our eye while in reality we can keep ourselves in our room or walk alone some distance!

    WordPress is really great since i can obtain many real and useful information through it. Twitter is great also for following news and latest scientific information and short messages!

    People, please stop empowering facebook!

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    • Virtueorvice, I 100% agree with you. I too believe, in time people will move on to the next “great” thing, but it would be amazing if the general population could see how utterly pointless it is! I don’t use twitter, from what I see in the news about it, it’s usually Donald Trump saying something crazy. Thanks for reading!

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  2. Quoting a quote here from http://www.markrichardson.org/post/34131891447/facebooks-assault-on-privacy-and-anonymous

    To be a person you have to find a sweet spot in which you both invent yourself and are real. There seems to be a Facebook generational divide that is at odds with the cliche. People old enough to have a life—jobs or kids, for instance—use Facebook to connect to their own pasts, and generally have good experiences. It’s the youngest ones who more often find themselves trapped or challenged by cartoon versions of themselves on Facebook. In particular, a “post-Facebook” generation has begun to appear […] For these young people, Facebook is not something that supposedly differentiates them from older generations but is instead an inherited burden. They are comfortable criticizing the service, and it will be their fate to wrestle with it.

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      • Mostly the latter – fresh relationships. The nostalgic aspect of Facebook takes about one week for the past friend request acceptance to run its course. Then it’s just someone seeing details of your life that they’re no longer involved in.

        I find it most useful for sharing with people you have common interests with. Hilarious and interesting material will be more concentrated if you keep the dialogue going but that does require effort. It’s for consumption and the rare sharing of ideas. The concept of using it as your identity is mental – it’s just an avatar. Just because someone uploaded photos of a trip, it doesn’t indicate they’re a “world traveller.” So they went to Cuba once. Online communication only represents a small sliver of someone’s personality.

        For family and real world relationships that you’re obligated to maintain, Facebook just gives the appearance of maintaining those friendships across distance. It’s shallow and doesn’t fit that purpose.

        I also find the common complaints about activity feed garbage, app spam, new parent gushing, etc. are all problems that can be curtailed. You can hide certain people, apps, and ads to make it a better experience. For instance, when I post an update it’s always specifically directed to groups of people in my friends list. e.g., footy, music clips, heady computer science tech pieces, crude jokes, Melbourne-specific events. No point sending that message to people that aren’t uninterested or will likely just threadshit to be a contrarian.

        Of course when so few people comment it starts to feel like a vacuum with an audience of one. Most of that is due to Facebook changing the sharing algorithm so only 15-20% of your friends see posts. You now have to pay to promote the update and broadcast to all (congrats on going public and needing to monetize.) And it’s an incredibly useless timesink when tiptoeing the procrastination line. Lately for me, Tumblr has taken over after I started following decent music writers and I’m such a culture junkie.

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  3. It’s all ego I fear.

    Mike and I spoke about it being your internet landing page. Where if someone knew you, or wanted to reach you…could easily do so. I could do without the ego side of the site. Again, I am not innocent of this, and perhaps that is what annoys me most. I fed my ego on it for 6 years.

    Before I axed it, I took a look at how I was using fb (to hawk my site onto anyone and everyone) and….to have a laugh, and start an unusual topic for conversation (mostly among period suffering women, might I add). hahah, normally for a laugh.

    I know there are many people who keep the site, but do not post anymore…they browse and sign off. Which is really disconnected behaviour. Perhaps that behaviour says it all.

    We know it’s fake, and perhaps that’s why people are loosing interest.

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  4. I almost agree with you, it does eats away at time that could be used for useful things. But I’m going to give you an example of why I love it.

    When I lived in a remote place, I used it to communicate with a bunch of northern bloggers. Now we are all over Canada, and we have a group on FB just the 5 of us. We use it to communicate, and stay in touch and most importantly we’ve used it to plan a trip over the last year. We are all meeting up in the Yukon, 5 woman, from all walks of life, some of us have never met. We’ve known each other for over 6 years, but some of us have never met! We’ve been there for each other through hard times and shared good times. And as much as FB does suck time out of your life, it has been the platform for this amazing group of woman. E-mails just don’t allow the almost real time communication that FB does, and sure we could skype, or MSN, but try organizing 5 woman from West coast to East coast, some with children to match up their schedules.

    And is posting photos of my Children ego stroking? Like would sending Christmas cards with a photo of my family be the same? Or hanging pictures on my wall of my children? 🙂 I like seeing pictures of my friends kids, I like keeping in touch, I like sharing in some moments that I wouldn’t get to because my friends live around the world and I never get to see them. It’s ok to share what you love.

    The real problem I’m finding is that clients are friend requesting me, so my inner circle is getting unnecessarily large. Time to thin it down.

    And just think if I didn’t hassle you on fb, you might have started this blog, and I would definitely not be reading it, because we don’t e-mail!! And I really love reading about your stories Holly! It’s a great part of my day, quietly reading and sipping a tea!

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    • That’s a great reason why it’s a really good social tool. It would 100% make planning your trip north much easier. I can definitely understand that.

      I agree, if it weren’t for Facebook I wouldn’t have reconnected with you either. (I have been waiting for you to write another blog btw your stories crack me up). I too enjoy seeing your life in words. It feels more interactive that way. As opposed to being someone who get’s a glimpse you know? Perhaps that’s why I am leaning more towards it.

      Posting photos of the kids is totally cool with me, within limits, there is definitely a line that many cross. I enjoy seeing photos of my friends children too, however I know they post images soley for the “like” factor or to get attention for themselves (ego), it’s not really about the kids when it comes down to the nitty gritty. You would technically only send those xmas cards to close friends and relatives, and the same for inviting people into your home to view these photos. I guess it depends how open your friends list on FB is. Because hospital photos, birthing, naked babies can all be viewed by relative strangers.

      Not having kids, this probably sounds harsh…maybe when we have kids, I’ll write about them, and post about them on the blog (for the content) just like you do. I love that there is a story, and something to learn from your writing. It’s not just about posting a photo and waiting for the oooh’s and ahhh’s.

      These are probably conflicting ideas of the same thing. They both have self interest.

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  5. HAHA there you think I only send Christmas cards to close family and friends 😉 lol. I have a huge list!! But this year, I’m cutting myself a break and saving some trees. When you have kids, you got a little nuts. They are the most incredible, amazing things you have ever been a part of. You want to share the joy with every passing stranger. Honestly I love seeing the hospital photos (within reason of course). It’s such an amazing moment in life, and I get to remember the out of this world joy I had when I share with others.

    You not having kids, it doesn’t sound harsh actually, I totally understand. Really anything you post, a status or photo, is ego stroking in some small way. And seeing photos of something your not really into over and over is super boring. I totally don’t like looking at crappy concert photos in repeat mode. I know, I’m a jerk. 😉

    If you post for 1,220 people, that’s nuts. But I post for about 200 and honestly I would hang out/ send a Christmas card to each person, if it wasn’t so expensive (and I had the time).

    But maybe I’m too social and crazy. I’ll accept that.

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  6. What I find interesting is seeing how my teenage nieces use it. For them it’s a fact of life and they have a completely different way of interacting with their peers than we did at high school. And they don’t hold back – I’ve witnessed bullying and hateful words. Once upon a time we used to leave this behind in school playgrounds. Now it’s broadcast for all the world to see. It’s a different world we live in and those of us that are older may struggle to keep up and understand it.

    I agree with you – that its attention seeking mostly. But I’m not going to quit – I need all my contacts all over the place! I find facebook a brilliant tool for travel! Not to mention music, hearing about gigs, etc. I got to see a sold out Birds of Tokyo show last night thanks to Facebook! Guess this doesn’t really apply in Greenhead…

    However, I am trying to control myself to a certain point. Its all about enjoying the moment for me – sometimes I’d be having an amazing experience and all that was on my mind was ‘what interesting, witty facebook status can I come up with the reflect this experience?’ I’ve gotten over that, mostly!

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  7. And because I can’t contact you any other way….lol
    This made me think of you leaving fb and the new crappy instagram trend ego stroking. Warning sounds like nickelcrap, but it’s pretty funny.

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