I feel guilty.

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These are images from last autumn when the newest lambs were being docked, and desexed.  It was chaos for the mums and lambs.
 I’m sad to see the lambs being sold and sent to their final destination.  It’s silly of me to feel this way considering where I work.
Disturbingly, I’m reminded of Auschwitz as the sheep are loaded, against their will and I am merely carrying out my duties shoving them onto the massive truck.  They don’t even know whats happening while there is all the commotion.  I can’t even look at the sheep for too long, as I don’t want to make eye contact.  I’ve been comparing myself inwardly to some SS officer, and it depresses me.
If it wouldn’t make me such a hypocrite I’d be a vegetarian again today.  This instance.
Since we’ve been growing our own produce, I havent’ been able to eat any of Pig Pig, or our chickens.  I’m still connected to the animals that were living and real.  I feel wrong to eat their muscles (I think about this part the most).
Perhaps I’ll make the switch back when we get to Perth.  My heart might feel a bit better.
How do you feel about eating animals?

23 thoughts on “I feel guilty.

  1. I’m so glad you like the photo. Your mum must have been very empathetic as I am. I doubt I’ll ever really feel right. We raised cattle previously. I had spent 5 months playing with the steers, I was crushed to send them away. I love cows, they have such personality, as most animals do.

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  2. I CAN’T eat lamb. I just CAN’T. I don’t eat venison either. I don’t like going to friend’s houses for dinner in fear of being served either.

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  3. Looking at those cute little lambs, I can empathize with your feelings. They look very lovable.
    Not to be flippant, but at least you have some great photos and memories of your time with them.
    Take care, and good luck with the move to Perth!

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  4. I had a dog I loved, a black lab, for thirteen years. I don’t eat mammals because I know they are just like my dog. Don’t fight your instinct: go vegetarian, embrace it! (You can still have ice cream and pizza avec from age. I sure do…) Wonderful pictures!

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  5. Picture #7 is so sweet. I was a vegetarian for a long time. We’ve recently begun eating meat again and it’s hard. I love animals so much and like you said, they have such evident personalities. I guess I’m torn, but I know the protein is good and essential for my health.

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  6. sorry made a mistake then…the day linda turned veggie was when she saw her little lambs in the field and knew she could never eat an animal again and Paul made the switch with her..the rest is history. I have never regretted a day of turning my back on meat and fish..I made myself watch the Peta videos. sending you much love x

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    • I remember last year or the year before Paul and Stella were advocating Meatless Mondays, and it pops into my head even now on Monday nights! haha the phrase is a great marketing scheme. More often than not I’ll eat vegetarian but not 100% right at the moment. I’m currently eating about 75%. Which isn’t terrible, but my feelings yesterday have given me something to think about. Thanks for reading Ceri!

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  7. You do feel guilty the first time you do the deed. It’s something you must get over if you “grow your own” just imagine how i was, taking my first to the slaughter house direct… There was tears… And i’m a grown man in my forty’s..

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  8. If the tables were turned, those animals would eat you without a second thought.
    There is enough to do just keeping people from killing other people.

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    • It is partially true, though sheep are herbivores and so that scenario is highly unlikely. I have read a novel by Margaret Attwood that focuses on the shift of human power, and gives nature full reign again. It was a fascinating read “The Year of The Flood”. You’ve gotta watch out for pigs! They’d be the first to eat you.

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      • Funny you should post this, and the pig comment.

        Miklos’s dad makes sausage and sells it at the market. His friend raised an enormous pig for him for a while, which I got to meet once. Last month Miklos went to help him with the slaughter and I was actually upset at him for a few days. He didn’t have any part in the actual killing, but I hated that he was even there to lift the carcass etc after.

        We eat meat often enough. It just felt awful to know that an animal was dying so people could eat it, maybe because I had ‘met’ it. It’s a hard thing. At the same time, I don’t know how I would get all the proteins we need without it. I know there are options, I just don’t know if I would enjoy them all the time.

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    • It makes perfect sense to me. How long have you been a vegetarian form Harper Faulkner? It doesn’t really matter, I guess I’m more curious as to when you started and what prompted the switch?

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      • With some relapses, I have been a vegetarian my entire life. I spent a lot of time on my aunt and uncles farm and they slaughtered chickens, cows and calves. I could see these animals had recognition of me and I could not eat them. It seemed, wrong. Since then, I have lapsed from time to time, but at heart, I think animals should not be eaten. HF

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  9. Dear Holly: I’ve been thinking about you the past few days and wondering what you’ve been up to. Now I can tell. I love the photos of the sheep and lambs and I think I’d feel the same as you if I were in your position, though I don’t think I’d be comparing myself to an SS officer. That was very different. But we are still talking about life and taking it away. You’ll get back to eating meat again, and I think it will be easier once you are away from the farm. Do you have a place to go to in Perth?

    Love you lots and say hi to Mike. Big hugs, Aunt Jane xoxo

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  10. You care and cared for these animals so it must be very hard to let them go. I guess everyone has to deal with this issue. Even in nature itself there are the hunters and the hunted and many animals cannot be anything but flesh eaters themselves. I feel guilty eating any meat or fowl and yet I seem to crave red meat once in awhile and chicken about every day. Take some comfort in that you took care of them well.

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  11. Beautiful photos!

    Growing up on the farm, well, I didn’t eat much meat. For the same reason, I knew who I was eating and it felt horrendous. We were always told to never name the animals, but we always did. It was always so hard, I hated it. Even when I was older and we had the pigs, I couldn’t think about shipping day. It’d break my heart a little.

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